Gotham City house pet care for special customers
by Khornosaurus
Summary: What do our hero s with their animals, when they are going on vacation? Well, Khornosaurus has an answer... (Bat Family and Rouge s, funny One shot)


Disclaimer: all the characters exept my OC´s belong to DC

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Hi, my name is Khornosaurus and I am the owner of Gotham City house pet care for special customers. My shop is located right behind the Solomon Wayne Courthouse, corner Judge Street.

Well guys, you certainly wonder what is a house pet care for special customer? Well, quite simply, a pet care is a place where people who go on vacation (and cannot take their dog, their aquarium, or their turtle with them) give their pet's tob e cared during the holiday season.

Well, only that Timmy's hamster or Jenna's cat do not belong to Khornosaurus usual customers, I take only special cases. In the United States, in a city like Gotham, every type of „I´m not quite right in my head" has pretty much a pet that exceeds by far the limit of legality.

I mean, if the Dominatrix next door wants to give her tarantula farm and 4-meter anaconda in nursing on holiday, she is goes to me. Or if one Yakuza is going to see Black Gate for a few months from the inside, he gives me the order to take over the feeding and care of his puffer fish.

Why are all these special people coming to me?

Because I myself am something special, that's why! Khornosaurus is none other than a demon from hell, with red skin, brown hair, ax, horns, yellow eyes (unfortunately short sighted, therefore need glasses), lizard tail, ponytail and a kilt. Why a Kilt? Because I was summoned In Scotland.

Now give me a Haggis, single malt and a dead English….

So you see, I'm a real stranger guy who likes to care for exotic pets.

Anyway, if you are in the business as long as me, you get to know a lot of strange people. And form e, a mentally ill senior with 578 goldfish is still part of the normal clientele.

No, I'm talking about the Bat Family, the Justice League, the Rogues Gallery and the League of Assassins.

If you have not noticed, in the period between July-August absolutely nothing happens at the level of superheroes and super villains. Why? Because they all go on vacation, that's why. Sometime in the early stages of caped crime fighting,they mutually agreed on a truce for one month a year, later it became two months. Anyway, since then all the heroes and villains take a well-deserved break during that time.

And these two months are the period where my profits and my workload increase by 3000%, but OK, with clients such as Batman or Lex Luther I can´t complaine.

Anyway, this year I have decided to record the first day with my video camera, when I get the "super hero pets". First Day is always the best, with all the tension and pre happiness for vacation. I'll probably cut together the best parts and sell them at My Pube. So, get ready for clips full of madness and despair!

**_Day 1:_**

(09:16) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special Pet Care for special customers")

Khornosaurus (KS): "Yes, yes, yes coming. (Opens door) Oh! HEY HEY HEY, the Clown Prince of Crime and his charming Harley Quinn. (sarcastic tone) what a surprise ... "

Harley Quinn (HQ): "Hello Mista Kay!"

Joker (J): "Hey buddy, how's Satan going?"

KS: "Still slices a roasted Hitler in Stalin's frozen ass ..."

J: "HA, HA, HA, you are talking about a REAL brown-red mess! But ... (serious tone) let's get over to business! (J brings his two albino hyenas forward) Can you look for Lou and Eddie, please? "

KS: (sighing): "Joker, have I ever said not to you? ( KS takes the lines for the two hyenas) How long? "

HQ: "For two months! Mista Jay and I are going on our annual honeymoon!"

KS: "Where?"

J: "Oh, in a country I've always wanted to visit. The people there smile to every joke one makes, and their comedy and is just awesome! "

KS: "Where's that?"

J: "North Korea, the funniest place on earth. (Throws a suitcase to KS) The papers in here for Lou and Eddie, along with the prepayment. See you in two months! "

KS: (After J and HQ are gone) "Joker prepaid?"

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(09:56) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special Pet Care for special customers")

KS: "Hey buddy, you want to get a quarter for yourself?"

Killer Croc (KC): "Very funny KS. Very Funny I have a long family reunion in Florida and I cannot take Steve as special baggage. Stupid weight regulations. (KC indicates at the alligator next to him)."

KS: "Steve? Let me guess, in Memoriam of Steve Erwin? "

KC: "(crying a few crocodile tears) The best Croc Hunter ever."

KS: "I care for Steve. Payment as always? "

KC: "Four bottles of self-burnt lint. As always! "

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(10:27) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special Pet Care for special customers")

KS: "Ivy, 'Hey, I have you not expected until Sunday. (Kisses Poison Ivy's hand) Hmmm, lavender, rose, vanilla and opium, a wonderful smell! "

Poison Ivy (PI): "You old philanderer. I hope my babies are in good hands with you? "

KS: "As always, my dear, as always. I even have set up an own greenhouse space for your favorites!"

PI: "Outstanding. Then I can go without worries on my vacation in the Pacific ... "

KS: "Which island?"

PI: "Like every year, some rock with beach, I make sure for landscaping and the staff myself! Last year it was a bachelor party, this year it is probably the crew of the submarine that I´m going to charter for the trip."

KS: "Well, this year´s payment is a Sequoia Bonsai please, my own received an extremely bad fungus and mites. I was not able to save him! "

PI: "I feel for you. So, my babies are in the big super truck parked in your parking lot, I got to go to reach my ship! Byyyy! "

KS: "Oh man, three tons of carnivorous potted plants. And I have to carry all of them alone in my greenhouse pocket dimension. Superman is never there when you need him ...! "

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(12:16) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special Pet Care for special customers")

KS: "Where were you two an hour ago?"

Superman (SM), "Please?"

Superboy (SB): "What?"

KS: "I just had to carry three tons of carnivorous plants in my greenhouse. THREE TONS. That would have been a job of 5 minutes, for both of you! "

SM / SB: "Sorry!"

KS: "Already forgotten. So, Krypto and Wolf, as always? "(Patting the Wonder Dog´s / the Giant Wolf´s heads)

SM / SB (in stereo): "Exactly!"

KS: "For how long?"

SM / SB (in stereo): "Two months. Loise / Megan and I are in the Maldives / on Mars! "

KS: "Okay, payment as always, another year of free advertising in the Daily Planet and the Gotham Post!"

SM / SB (in stereo): "Sure thing!"

KS: "You know guy´s, stereo is only cool if you two also look the same, not large version and Mini Me!"

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(14:29) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special Pet Care for special customers")

Hawkgirl (HG): "Hello! What happened with your head? "

KS (pressing an ice pack on his head): "Two pissed Kryptonians. Are you also here for pre check in? "

Hawkmen (HM): "Nope, we're flying in the Alps and cannot take our little birds with us."

Hawkwoman (HW): "Specifically, our daughter cannot take her little birds with her. Something about a ban on the import of alien species! "

KS: "birds? Daughter? Hawkwoman, since when do you have a teenage daughter? "

HM: "Do you not remember when I came over alone three years ago to pick up the Parrot of Black Canary? Shayera was brooding that time! "

KS: "Aha. Where are the birds that you want me to take care of? "

HG: "Here! (Showing three cages with owls in it) Say hello to Harry (a snowy Owl), Ron (an normal owl) and Hermione (a barn owl)! "

KS: "Harry Potter fan?"

HW: "Big Time! So, we are off for two months, can you handle them? "

KS: "I had time to practice with penguins condor, Birds are not a problem. "

HW: "And the pay?"

KS: "Oh, that's easy Hawkwomen (pointing at HG), I want a photo of you sitting on Hawkgirl in her Egg-from! I have to see that before I believe it."

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(17:00) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special Pet Care for special customers")

KS: "Meow, my dearest cat lady is looking als lovly as ever. Catwomen, it´s good to see you again. "

Catwoman: "meow handsome, did you have a purrrfect day today?"

KS: "Yes, and how! Imagine that in my pool pocket dimension now languishes Killer Croc's alligator, in my greenhouse pocket dimension Poison Ivy has parked half a jungle, in my apartment buzz three owls of the Hawk family and in my pocket dimension for dogs Superdog and SuperWolf are going to beat up the hyenas of Joker. "

CW: "Oh My!"

KS: "Please tell me that it is only Isis who needs care. Please! "

CW: "Sorry, but for the next few months I am far far away with my favorite bat (CW indicates the eight cat baskets behind her) so I do not wish Isis to stay here without Simba, Nala, Hathor, Bastet, Freya, Romeo and Juliet! "(CW makes big cats eyes)

KS: "Okay, okay, I admit defeat. At least I now have the means by which I can keep the whole owls, dogs, and the alligator at bay. Nevertheless, this time it will be expensive, risk protection supplement for cats, you know! "

CW: (sighs, hands KS a card with phone numbers): "Tina, Andrea and Kimberly. One of them or all three together,I do not care, just say that Catwoman gave you the card, the ladies do the rest! "

KS: "You can count on me to have your kittens in complete safety and security!"

CW: "Purrfect"

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(19:49) (ringing at the front door of "Khornosaurus Special kennels for special customers")

KS: "The Dark Knight himself! It is an honor for me, as every year! "

Batman (BM): "Catwoman was already here?"

KS: "World's Greatest Detective, in fact! What gave it away? The scratches on my kilt, the scratches on my upper body, or the fact that Isis tries to bit in my tail right now? "

BM: "-!"

KS: "The Bat glare does not work with me. So, as I´ve heard something about a Cat/Bat Lala-Land Vacation for the next two months. What should I watch for you, Dark knight? "

BM: "Ace."

KS: "I thought so; batdog just marched in and has made himself comfortable on my bed anyway. Anything else? "

BM: (hands over a key to KS) "2957 bats. My butler is in England! Any questions? "

KS: "Payment?"

BM: "On your account!"

KS: "You know what's really funny, Batman? You and the Joker are the only people who pay me in real money! "

BM: (sarcastically) Funny ... "


End file.
